DEAD: With Dick & Jane #1

[jayvee]

Feedback welcome and appreciated.

Looking for an artist, as well: ptstoryworkshop.proboards99.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=jobs&thread=1151117704


DEAD: WITH DICK & JANE

CHAPTER ONE

PAGE ONE.

P1. A small town main street at night: There's a Ma & Pa Diner, an eye doctor, an insurance agency and a donut shop. The street is empty except for a parked car sitting parallel with the right side of the street, nearly a block down and apparently abandoned, and a newspaper blowing across the concrete like tumbleweed.

(CAP) SMALL TOWN, KANSAS.

P2. Jane locks the diner door where she works.

P3. Jane walks towards the camera, strolling down the left side of our screens. She's wearing a pink waitress outfit with a white waist apron and a denim jacket covered from top-to-bottom in novelty buttons, digging in her purse.

P4. She's close enough now that the bottom of the panel cuts her legs out of the scene. We can see Jane's name tag clearly now and she's lighting a cigarette.

P5. Jane walks past us but we've yet to switch cameras. Still focused on the street: the parked car's headlights flick on.

PAGE TWO.

P1. Side view: Jane keeps walking as the car crawls up behind her. She pretends not to notice.

P2. Closer: A young black kid, older than a teen but barely, leans out of the window to taunt her as the car pulls up alongside and matches her walking speed. The driver is obscured by shadow, but he appears to be a big man.

(DEBO) HEY, BABY!

(DEBO) AIN'T IT A LITTLE PAST YOUR BEDTIME?

P3. His expression sours as she ignores him and keeps walking.

P4. Still hanging out the window, Debo grabs a hold of Jane's jacket and pulls her to him. His anger is just as blatant as her surprise as the cigarette falls out of her mouth.

(DEBO) HEY, BITCH!

(DEBO) I'M TALKIN' TO YOU!

P5. Debo pulls her close enough that she can feel his breath on her face. The car has apparently stopped. She's struggling, turning her head away from his. One hand is jammed into her purse, digging again.

PAGE THREE.

P1. Splash: Jane pulls out a can of MACE and sprays Debo in the face. His reaction is immediate, letting go of her to claw at his eyes and cheeks.

(DEBO, yell) SHIT!

(DEBO, yell) SHIT!

(DEBO, yell) SHIT!

(TITLE & CREDITS) SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST

PAGE FOUR.

P1. Jane flees into an alley as the kid writhes around, still hanging out the window.

(DEBO, yell) SHIT!

(DEBO, yell) SHIT!

(DEBO, yell) BITCH SHOT ME, CHAZ!

P2. Debo continues to writhe. The driver's side door opens.

(DEBO, yell) I'M DEAD!

(DEBO, yell) I'M FUCKING DEAD!

P3. A hulking white guy in a suit steps out of the car. You can see the vehicle's shocks working overtime as he does, rocking the car. Chaz is wearing shades and has his short black hair slicked back into a ducktail. Debo continues to thrash about.

(CHAZ) SHUT THE FUCK UP, DEBO.

(CHAZ) WE GOT WORK TO DO.

PAGE FIVE.

P1. Jane sprints through the alley, panicked as all Hell. She knocks over a trash can in her hurry.

P2. Same place, same angle: just a few seconds later. Chaz and Debo (with red, swollen eyes) give chase, kicking the downed trash can out of the way as they pass.

P3. Close-up: Jane tries dialing 9-1-1 on her cell phone as she runs, finally clearing the alley.

P4. Debo's eyes grow wide, turning to look at his partner as they move.

(DEBO) SHIT, MAN!

(DEBO) BITCH GOT A PHONE!

PAGE SIX.

P1. Side shot: Chaz whips out an impressive looking pistols and aims. Debo stumbles to stop next to him.

(CHAZ) NOT NO MORE SHE DON'T.

P2. Black.

(SFX) BLAM!

P3. Camera looking down the street from behind Debo and Chaz: gun still smoking. Jane drops like a sack of potatoes in someone's front yard.

P4. Close-up: Jane's blank stare as she lies motionless in the grass. The phone lies next to her, half-open and glowing.

P5. Black.

PAGE SEVEN.

P1. Black.

P2. Through Jane's eyes, a super blurry Dick hovers over us.

(DICK) 12ABX13.

P3. Dick becomes a little less blurry.

(DICK) 0DXCHX2?

P4. A disheveled Dick is in full focus now, holding a rag in one hand. It looks as though he's torn it from his shirt.

(DICK) LEMME GUESS… FROM A SMALL TOWN IN KANSAS?

P5. Jane groggily sits up. Her shoulder's been wrapped, presumably where she was shot. She's in nothing but a sports bra and work slacks now and there is blood all over the pants. She looks down, rubbing the bridge of her nose.

(JANE) HOW… DID YOU KNOW?

PAGE EIGHT.

P1. Splash. Rag in one hand, Dick waves his other arm out like Vanna White, showcasing the surrounding room with mock prestige. A smooth metal door lies at the end of his fingertips. The room itself is bereft of furniture minus three worn cots, over-crowded with six other people who all look unkempt as well, untidy and half-starved. A florescent light runs the span of the ceiling. There are two five-year-old girls, what appears to be their father, a punk rocker, elderly woman and a savagely obese STAR TREK nerd. Dick's face retains a bleak expression, having to break some seriously sucky news.

(DICK) BECAUSE WE ALL ARE.

PAGE NINE.

P1. Jane continues to look shocked.

(JANE, whisper) W… WHERE ARE WE?

P2. Dick smiles, handing her the rag.

(DICK) KEY WEST?

(DICK) MEXICO?

(DICK) TRUTH IS, NONE OF US KNOW FOR SURE.

(DICK) ONLY THINGS WE GOT IN COMMON IS BEIN' FROM A SMALL TOWN IN KANSAS AND GETTIN' MUGGED BY THOSE TWO THUGS… AND NOT KNOWIN' WHERE WE ARE, OF COURSE.

P3. She looks at him, puzzled.

(DICK) YOU'RE AWFUL CHEERFUL.

P4. He frowns, looking back at the two little girls playing with their father.

(DICK) YOU'RE MISTAKING SENILITY FOR CHEER.

(DICK) HAVEN'T EATEN IN A COUPLE OF DAYS.

(DICK) DON'T GET ME WRONG, THOSE ASSHOLES FEED US… JUST NOT VERY MUCH AND I FIGURE THE KIDS NEED IT MORE'N I DO.

PAGE TEN.

P1. She uses the rag to wipe the sweat off her face.

(JANE) THAT'S NOBLE.

(JANE) ANYBODY ELSE HERE SPEAK ENGLISH?

P2. The rest of the room's back to minding their own, desolate business. They don't even acknowledge Jane's presence anymore.

(DICK, op) THEY ALL SPEAK ENGLISH.

(DICK, op) IT'S JUST… THEY DON'T TALK TO YOU FOR THE SAME REASON THEY DON'T CRY ANYMORE.

(DICK, op) IT'S ALL JUST SORT OF POINTLESS, YOU KNOW…?

P3. Jane looks disappointed.

(JANE, whisper) OH.

P4. She looks up at him.

(JANE) THEN HOW COME YOU'RE TALKIN' TO ME?

PAGE ELEVEN.

P1. He sits now beside her.

(DICK) HONESTLY?

(JANE) YEAH.

(DICK) I FIGURE WE'VE BEEN DRAGGED INTO A GENRE HORROR MOVIE AND ARE JUST SITTING HERE, WAITING TO BE EITHER CHAINSAWED OR EATEN TO DEATH AND…

P2. He leans over and whispers in her ear.

(DICK) I THINK I'D JUST LIKE TO GET LAID BEFORE I DIE.

P3. Jane is shocked.

(JANE) !

P4. He smiles sheepishly.

(DICK) RELAX.

(DICK) WAS A JOKE.

P5. She feigns angry.

(JANE, icy) WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

P6. He looks at her, feeling horrible.

(DICK) I'VE BEEN CALLED A LOT OF AWFUL THINGS OVER THE YEARS.

(DICK) MY FRIENDS CALL ME DICK, THOUGH, WHICH SEEMS APPROPRIATE ENOUGH.

P7. She grins.

(JANE) WELL, DICK… YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR SUCKS.

P8. He smiles back.

(DICK) I KNOW.

PAGE TWELVE.

P1. Jane's mood changes abruptly.

(JANE) HOW LONG'VE YOU BEEN IN HERE…?

P2. Dick shrugs nonchalantly.

(DICK) COUPLA WEEKS?

(DICK) A MONTH?

(DICK) HARD TO TELL TIME WHEN ALL YOU GOT TO JUDGE IT BY IS HOW MANY TIMES YOU GET SLEEPY.

(DICK) YOU'RE THE ONLY NEW PERSON WE'VE HAD… WHAT DAY WAS IT WHEN THEY JUMPED YOU?

P3. She looks up at him.

(JANE) I… THINK IT WAS THURSDAY.

(JANE) THE THIRTEENTH.

P4. Dick looks concerned, almost frightened.

(DICK) WHAT MONTH?

P5. Jane thinks.

(JANE) UH… JUNE.

P6. Dick seems to deflate.

(DICK) CRAP.

(DICK) I MISSED MY BIRTHDAY.

P7. He looks solemn for a moment, silent with eyes towards the floor.

P8. Dick abruptly brightens up.

(DICK) SAY… YOU GOT A NAME?

PAGE THIRTEEN.

P1. Chaz and Debo sit in a room full of monitors watching the room. Chaz pays no attention to the show, reading a girlie magazine instead. Debo seems enamored, like a little kid in front of cartoons.

(DEBO) YOU THINK WE CAN KEEP 'ER?

(DEBO) BEEN AWHILE SINCE I HAD ONE WITH SPUNK.

P2. Chaz checks out the centerfold.

(CHAZ) YOU KIDDIN'?

(CHAZ) SHE'LL SELL FASTER'N ALL THA OTHERS COMBINED… AND FER TWICE THE PRICE.

P3. Debo looks over at his partner in crime.

(DEBO) EVEN THOUGH WE SHOT 'ER UP?

P4. Chaz continues "reading," brushing Debo's attempt at conversation aside.

(CHAZ) SHIT, MAN…

(CHAZ) ASS LIKE THAT AIN'T NOBODY GONNA BE PAYIN' ATTENTION TO 'ER SHOULDER.

PAGE FOURTEEN.

P1. Debo goes back to watching the monitor.

(DEBO) YOU DON'T EVER FEEL BAD 'BOUT THIS SELLIN' PEOPLE SHIT… DO YA, CHAZ?

P2. Chaz stops reading and raises an eyebrow, the first time he's physically acknowledged that Debo was speaking.

P3. Debo nervously tries to make a save, putting his hands up like "I dunno."

(DEBO) I MEAN… SHE MIGHTA BEEN SOMEBODY'S MAMMA.

P4. Chaz frowns.

(CHAZ) SHE YOUR MAMMA?

(DEBO, op) NAW.

(CHAZ) THEN I STRONGLY SUGGEST THAT YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP.

PAGE FIFTEEN.

P1. Debo persists.

(DEBO) BUT…

P2. Both together.

(CHAZ) YOU BOUGHT YER SISTER A NEW HOUSE, DIN'CHA?

(DEBO) YEAH… UP IN DENVER, BUT…

(CHAZ) THEN SHUT THE FUCK UP.

PAGE SIXTEEN.

P1. Dick has fallen asleep with his arm around Jane. Nestled into the side of his chest, she's sleeping, too. They sit in relative darkness, the light having dimmed.

(CAP) THE ROOM IS SOUND PROOF, COMPLETELY CLOSED OFF FROM THE OUTSIDE WORLD.

P2. Still watching Dick and Jane: the shadow is broken by the light of a door opening.

(CAP) THE DOOR'S BEEN ENGINEERED ON GLIDERS TO BE SILENT, AS WELL.

P3. Debo is loaded to the gills, standing in the doorway and pointing guns at the prisoners. Chaz starts pulling the old lady prisoner out of the room by the hair and it looks like the STARK TREK nerd is going to play hero.

(CAP) IT'S SO THE ONLY SOUNDS THESE PEOPLE GET TO HEAR ARE THOSE OF THEIR OWN BEGGING TO STAY ALIVE, AND THE INCESSANT PROFANITIES OF AN UNDEREDUCATED, GUN-TOTING MOOK.

(CHAZ) C'MON, YA OLD BITCH.

(NERD, yell) HEY!

(NERD) LEAVE 'ER ALONE!

P4. Debo blows the nerd's brains out all over the wall as Chaz takes the old lady outside.

(CAP) AND THE UNTIMELY DEMISE OF A CELLMATE, OF COURSE.

PAGE SEVENTEEN.

P1. Chaz comes back and grabs the two little girls by the elbows.

(CHAZ) YOU TWO RUNTS, TOO.

P2. Debo keeps the father at bay by gunpoint.

(CAP) PROBABLY THE BEST PSYCHOLOGICAL TRAP IN THE WORLD, DEPRIVING YOU OF EVERY SENSE BUT THE ONE THAT HURTS THE MOST: YOUR IMAGINATION.

P3. One of the girls takes a bite out of Chaz' hand.

(CHAZ, yell) OW, MOTHERFUCKER!

(CAP) HERE, PANIC BECOMES YOUR BEST FRIEND.

(CAP) IT'S ALSO THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN TELL THAT YOU'RE STILL ALIVE.

P4. Dick watches with a grave expression.

(CAP) HARD TO BELIEVE THAT THIS DYNAMIC DUO OF STREET THUGS CAME UP WITH IT ALL ON THEIR OWN.

PAGE EIGHTEEN.

P1. The little girl runs back to her daddy, hugging him for dear life.

P2. Still holding her sister hard by the elbow, Chaz pulls out his trusty pistol and takes aim.

P3. Close-up: blood splatters against the wall.

PAGE NINETEEN.

P1. The cell door slams shut. Chaz leaves some parting words.

(CHAZ, outside) MOTHERFUCKER.

P2. The girl, as well as her father, lay hunched over on the cot, dead. Their eyes, glazed over and lifeless, stare out at the last three prisoners and there are both blood spatters and chunks of flesh mounted to the wall behind them. The little girl has a gaping hole in her chest that translates into a gaping hold in her dad's stomach, though they're still wrapped in a post-mortem embrace. The STAR TREK nerd, or what's left of him, is half-propped up by the opposite wall.

P3. The Goth rocker looks to have a catatonic stare.

P4. Dick closes his eyes and lowers his head.

P5. Jane starts crying, burying her face in his shoulder.

PAGE TWENTY.

P1. The Goth rocker jumps up and starts screaming, ripping out his own hair and otherwise freaking out.

(GOTH, yell) FUCK!

(GOTH, yell) FUCK!

(GOTH, yell) WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!

(GOTH, yell) THERE'S NO FUCKIN' WAY OUT!

(GOTH, yell) WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!

P2. The rocker grabs the dead girl and her dad and throws them off the cot.

(GOTH, yell) FUCK!

P3. He kicks the cot over.

(GOTH, yell) FUCK!

PAGE TWENTY-ONE.

P1. Dick hammers the guy with his fist, breaking the rocker's nose.

(GOTH, yell) FU --

P2. The crazy Goth lands awkwardly on top of the dead girl and her father, Dick standing over them with his fists clenched and breathing heavily. Everything but his angry eyes and grimace is obscured by the shadow.

(DICK, whisper) WE GOTTA GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE.

(CAP) NEXT: THE GREAT ESCAPE.

(c) 2006 Jeremiah Allan

[ipuertoricanpony]

i enjoyed this. there's a nice relationship here established between dick and jane, and i like the fact that you developed it rather than just take for granted of the play on dick and jane. i'm not sure what i was expecting when i first read it, but i really enjoyed the relationship.

my only concern, and it's minute, is that you might not need the commentary through the captions when the thug comes in and the blood bath ensues. i think with the artwork doing it's job well, we'll be able to infer some of what you're putting in the captions. but that's one of those things where you'll have to wait for the artwork to really compare the two options.

liked the sleepy line.

ernesto

[jayvee]

Aye, the caption boxes seemed somewhat out of place to me, too.

I just need an artist so I can tell for sure.

[jayvee]

Nobody else...?

[davidaccampo]

Gimme a little bit...I'm gonna read thru this a little later tonight.

[davidaccampo]

OK, so I'm a day late, but better late than never, right?

Jay, I actually like this piece a lot. It moves, it's got a lot of energy...I'm confused as hell, but not in a bad way -- in the way you WANT me to be.

It makes me think of something between SAW, HOSTEL, and a Tarantino flick. But you could still take in in an entirely unexpected direction as well.

I get a sense that there's a bit of sarcasm in the captions, that maybe the two mooks couldn't have come up with this all on their own.

Oh, and i'm also unsure of the details of how and why they're selling people. I mean...selling babies or children or even women bring to mind an instant "market" of slavery or adoption or whatever. But this group is so random...

Jane's shooting at the beginning also made me wonder if she was waking up in some sort of purgatory. Well that and the DEAD in the title. I thought that was an interesting angle too, although it doesn't seem to be where you're going with that.

another question: is someone narrating the captions, or is it just an omniscient narrator? Is that something you plan to reveal later?

I'd definitely buy the next issue based on this, so that's a high compliment.

My only nitpick would be the name Debo, which just makes me think of Deebo from the movie Friday. LOL...well, it's probably just me. I just think it adds a weird connotation to the character.

All in all, I'd give it a solid thumbs up, but I'll be very curious as to how it all plays out...I could see potential problems based on what you do with the "selling people" angle, but it's all in how you play it.

[jayvee]

* At the beginning of this thread, I link to another thread where I'm basically begging for an artist to draw the book. There you'll find the most ultra-simplistic pitch for this series that you'll ever see, one that I tried pitching to the TIDE editors but it didn't go over so well.

* She's not dead. Too easy. The "dead" alludes to something different.

* I wanted a street-sounding name, something for a thug. Debo was as close as I came to anything good. It's only used once or twice outside of the main script (which might make a difference in how an audience would receive it), but I'm willing to take suggestions on something better.

Since I feel somewhat in need of editorial assistance: Lots of spoilers ahead, don't read if you think you shouldn't.

* Go back and study the panel where the narrator--who is, indeed, omniscient because I don't think there's enough of that in comics nowadays and it adds definite color to a book--wonders aloud about Debo and Chaz' ability to run this kind of operation on their own and tell me if you think it's suspicious that the only guy shown in the panel is Dick. I think we've found our villain.

* There is a connection between the people in the vault: they, or people incredibly close to them, had in some way, shape or form contributed to the jailing and subsequent murder of Dick's twin brother. Chaz and Debo are merely hired thugs who're told that they're selling people into slavery so they'll kidnap them without any questions. (There's a little more to it.)

* The plot for #2: Chaz and Debo haven't brought food for two days.

They haven't even come in to check on their prisoners. While Dick and Jane are sleeping, the goth kills himself by wrapping his belt around his neck. Jane wakes up because of the awful smell accompanying the now-dead goth expunging his bowels in post-mortem muscle loss, though it does look like the goth changed his mind mid-suicide and tried in vain to uncinch the belt. Spurred by the overpowering stench, Dick suggests they dismantle one of the lights in an attempt to find some way to escape.

Dick pulls the light out of the ceiling to find a loose panel where the light was installed, revealing a wiring duct just big enough for Jane to wriggle into. She follows the duct to the nearest grate (quite a distance away), opens it with some difficulty and eventually locates a light switch. She finds herself in a room that appears to be a cross between a medical examination room and a dark ages torture chamber, barbed wire and chainsaws abound. She is, of course, terrified--particularly at the still-rotting corpse strapped to a table, fumbles for the door and grabs a weapon on her way out. (Haven't figured out what yet, suggestions welcome--searching for something unique or to pay homage to other zombie flicks.)

Jane traces her way back to the vault, only to find it one amongst several vaults in a long stretch of hallway. One appears empty while the other two are electronically sealed, apparently operated by numerical keypads. The intercom buttons on them, however, aren't locked at all. She tries the nearest one, first checking to make sure no one is around to hear, and gets Dick's voice on the other side. He pleads with her to open the door but she doesn't know how. Emotions are running high as she tells him about the torture chamber. He tells her to stay calm, that she's got to find the combination. She starts crying again, head against the door until she hears a low, gutteral growl.

Jane turns to look down the hallway and sees Debo's shambling corpse, in full zombie mode… And he sees her, too.

* Thoughts, opinions and suggestions welcome.

[davidaccampo]

Well...

...I like it. Seriously. It wasn't what I expected, and that's cool. It does sound like I'm not far off with the SAW vibe -- I guess that's the closest thing you should worry about copying too much. But then again, you've got zombies...

OK, so I'm going to have to re-read this with new insight, but based on your last comments, let me see:

- Dick as mastermind. Dig it. Fixes the slavery problem, too. Nice. You set up a slightly flawed premise (meaning that I dind't quite buy the slavery for the random assortment of people bit), and then showed me that it was intentional misdirection on your part. Very nice.

- Jane is essentially our "hero" it seems. Two issues of action, and I don't know anything about her, really. I know she's a fighter. And that's a good start. But you may want to look for something slightly personal in there. Even Ripley in the first Alien film has little personal moments before all the running away from the Bad Things. Same with Jamie Lee Curtis in Halloween. Since you're starting this in action -- with the kidnapping coming up front, do you plan to find a place to slow down and let us get a little more insight into her?

- Is this planned for 4 22-page chapters? Or how long? I may have to go read your other post.

- OK, if I"m reading this right, we suddenly have a zombie at the end of the 2nd issue. I'm intrigued. Up until then I'm getting a SAW or Hostel vibe. Still human, nothing supernatural. If you're going to kick the zombies into high gear...well, I really can't say anythign until I see more. I'm assuming you've got this covered. Are zombies part of dick's plan? Is he using black magic to try to raise his brother from the dead? Or is this a wrinkle in Dick's plan? Throwing zombies in in an unrelated note might be hard. But if this is part of Dick's plan --ooh, I'm digging it if you can make it all tie up and make sense.

- Debo and Chaz are fine, I was just telling you what it conjured for me.

- I like the omniscient narrator. YOu're right, it's underutilized today, and can be a lot of fun, as long as the use is judicious and does lapse into too much exposition (which you haven't done thus far, so it's all good).

- The weapon Jane picks up. Man, instantly I think of Pulp Fiction and Bruce Willis' sequence of trying out different weapons. But that's been done. What would Jane pick up? Umm, would it be too cheesy to pick up a medieval MACE as a parallel to when she maces Debo at the beginning of hte story? LOL...oh, that even hurt me to type. But just imagine the one-liners...

"Didn't like that mace before, didja, bitch? Well how about THIS!" KA-WHACK!

LOL -- or you could have her actually pick up her own mace spray out of all the crazy weapons. That would actually say something about her character. She's still humane, even in the face of death. She then spray mace at the zombie again, only this time it doesn't have an effect. So she's suddenly got to grab some other weapon like some kind of axe and just sink it into his face.

Alright, I might be going to far with this...LOL...but I don't think I've ever seen anyone MACE a zombie before. That'd be GREAT. Seriously. Think about it. ;D

[jayvee]

FEEDBACK IS LIKE COCAINE BUT BETTER.

I can't thank you enough, man. You, too, Ernesto. It's finally good to get some editorial feedback.

Talking something out makes an infinitely better product.

* We'll get time to dissect Jane in #3, tentatively titled BORN TO RUN. (Working title... 100% likely that it'll be changed when scripting-time comes because it's directly plagiarized from the title of the LOST episode where they finally revealed Kate's origin. Kate is one of the major stock character influences I used to build Jane and it's a little too glaring to be an homage.)

Jane spends most of her time running from the super fast, super agile Debo Zombie (in the style of 28 DAYS LATER), wherein we make parallels about how she's been running from ghosts her whole life. What all those ghosts are, I'm not entirely certain; I've only got a few I know for certain I want to include. (Without having written #2 yet, I refused to fully plot #3 because that takes the story out of the character's hands and confines it too much to a rigid schedule.)

* The idea of a mace--particularly when stolen from a torture chamber--makes perfect sense. The parallel with the can of MACE spray is delicious, in an eye-burning sort of way, too. I never would have made the connection if you hadn't said anything.

(The panicked scene of fumbling for a weapon that would actually work against the zombie is something that I had actually made a note to include in that issue as part of the horror-drama I'm trying to build. I'm glad we're on the same wave-length there.)

* I initially thought six chapters, but split the original #2 into two parts, added a flashback chapter for some characters we encounter later on and poured a whole lot of other elements into the mix so it's hard to tell. The rough estimate says eight chapters for the initial wave, and it could easily turn into an ongoing thereafter.

* I toyed with the idea of Dick being behind the zombies but it seemed like he'd have too many hands in the cookie jar. Black magic was my first thought, so he could kill his prisoners, bring them back to life and kill them again. However, the more and more I thought about it, I had just invented a new angle with which to introduce an unknowing character into a world already populated with zombies. (Seeing RICK from THE WALKING DEAD and JIM from 28 DAYS LATER both emerge from a coma to discover the world had been devoured by the zombie apocalypse was too much... There HAD to be a different way to get the same effect. I found it by accident.)

Actually having this as a kink in Dick's plan further complicates the plot, as it forces Dick (who was going to kill Jane) to rely on her for his own survival (because he's going to have a broken knee by the end of #3). I don't have to tell you how much great psychological material I could mine from that, just having Dick try to hide his villainous nature or what kind of impact it would have when I finally made the big reveal to readers, who up until that point wouldn't have been able to connect the pieces and see him for what he really is.

(I wanted the big reveal to come as a complete shock, almost at the end of the arc, where Dick gets shot with a heroine dart and starts tripping out, going nuts and tries to kill Jane, revealing his plan in the process... But I'm not so sure that I'm happy with that yet. It's better than my original idea of Jane taking his diary from El Cado ["the End" in Spanish, where the holding cells are] and learning about it THAT way.)

[davidaccampo]

Hmmm, this is all good stuff.

I guess my main concern would be that...by the time you get to the fact that the zombies are incidental to Dick's plan, you're three issues in at least, and the audience may not be ready for another seemingly random shock at that point.

That said, the idea of him trying to work with Jane while concealing his true nature is pretty damn good. I love that on a character level.

It's really hard to say -- I want to say you'll pull it off, but as Dick and Jane run out into a world of zombies after the audience have already been fooled into thinking about the slavery thing...and then on top of that, you fool them again when you reveal that the kidnapping WAS Dick's plan, but now Dick's plan has gone out the window due to Zombie-age... man...I don't know...that's a tough one.

The structuralist in me wants the zombie to be a plan gone awry to raise Dick's brother from the dead. But then again, there's something appealing about jumping from this torture/crime drama to a zombie film the way no else has. It makes me think a bit of Tarantino's and Rodriguez's From Dusk Til Dawn, which starts off as a gangster/crime flick and then suddenly converts to a vampire gore fest about half way through. It's wildly uneven, but there's something fun about that as well.

So, all I'm gonna say is: go for it, but be cautious in how you do it. This is going to rely a LOT on the execution.

Maybe there can be some sign in the very beginning of the comic, like Jane is passing a radio that's talking about the pending solar eclipse or something...

[jayvee]

Maybe there can be some sign in the very beginning of the comic, like Jane is passing a radio that's talking about the pending solar eclipse or something...

Instead of a tumbleweed blowing by on the first page, it can be a newspaper with a front page article on the crashing of an orbital satellite in Kansas.

You make a lot of good comparisons. I'm going to go dust off my copy of FROM DUSK 'TIL DAWN and watch it again in the next couple of days, just to see if there's something I can learn from it.

And, if it wasn't tough, would it really be worth writing about...?

Nothing good is ever easy.