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Rules
Jun 15, 2006 14:47:57 GMT -5
Post by Nolan Joseph Werner and Marc K on Jun 15, 2006 14:47:57 GMT -5
These are the rules for the Phosphorous Tide Story Workshop.
RULE #1: This is the board for things that aren't in the comic medium. Please don't put comic stories here.
RULE #2: Don't post stories that aren't yours unless you have the permission of the author.
RULE #3: Don't post fan fiction or stories featuring characters you don't own here.
RULE #4: If you are trying to adapt a story that isn't yours, make sure you either have the proper permission or the story is in the public domain.
RULE #5: Be respectful of other people's stories when you critique them. Don't be mean for the sake of being mean.
RULE #6: No one's criticism or commentary should be taken as hard and fast law. You don't have to take any of it in to account.
RULE #7: Be respectful of the comments other people make as well. Feel free to disagree but don't get nasty about it.
RULE #8: Please put each story revision in a separate post.
RULE #9: Please put each story that you want to post in to a separate thread.
More rules may be added as necessary.
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Rules
Jun 16, 2006 0:35:41 GMT -5
Post by Nolan Joseph Werner and Marc K on Jun 16, 2006 0:35:41 GMT -5
One new Rule:
You are responsible for protecting the rights to your material. Make sure you have your material copyrighted. For screenplays, get them registered with the WGA.
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Rules
Jun 19, 2006 21:19:41 GMT -5
Post by suleminagic on Jun 19, 2006 21:19:41 GMT -5
These are the rules for the Phosphorous Tide Story Workshop. RULE #1: This is the board for things that aren't in the comic medium. Please don't put comic stories here. RULE #2: Don't post stories that aren't yours unless you have the permission of the author. RULE #3: Don't post fan fiction or stories featuring characters you don't own here. RULE #4: If you are trying to adapt a story that isn't yours, make sure you either have the proper permission or the story is in the public domain. RULE #5: Be respectful of other people's stories when you critique them. Don't be mean for the sake of being mean. RULE #6: No one's criticism or commentary should be taken as hard and fast law. You don't have to take any of it in to account. RULE #7: Be respectful of the comments other people make as well. Feel free to disagree but don't get nasty about it. RULE #8: Please put each story revision in a separate post. RULE #9: Please put each story that you want to post in to a separate thread. More rules may be added as necessary. I would like to add one rule: RULE #10[glow=red,2,300] F UCK THE RULES!!![/glow] If you're gonna entice writers to join this board brah, you're gonna have to get rid of the stick that's up your @SS!!!!! -Aladdin Sarsippius Suleminagic Jackson III "Get back in that tub. Eat some reds and try to calm down. Smoke some grass, shoot some smack – sh!t, do whatever you have to do, but let me get some rest."
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Rules
Jun 19, 2006 21:21:12 GMT -5
Post by nolan on Jun 19, 2006 21:21:12 GMT -5
I figured that the rules were pretty open actually. I'm just trying to keep things respectful and civil.
And we have the rule from the other board here too. You are responsible for your own copyright but if you get caught ripping people off, you're out.
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Rules
Jun 19, 2006 21:25:44 GMT -5
Post by suleminagic on Jun 19, 2006 21:25:44 GMT -5
I figured that the rules were pretty open actually. I'm just trying to keep things respectful and civil. And we have the rule from the other board here too. You are responsible for your own copyright but if you get caught ripping people off, you're out. Just giving you a little grief brah... doesn't seem like anyone is joining! Where is everyone?! - Aladdin Sarsippius Suleminagic Jackson III"Get back in that tub. Eat some reds and try to calm down. Smoke some grass, shoot some smack – sh!t, do whatever you have to do, but let me get some rest."
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Rules
Jun 20, 2006 3:34:44 GMT -5
Post by jayvee on Jun 20, 2006 3:34:44 GMT -5
Glued to PAPER MARIO 2: THE THOUSAND-YEAR DOOR.
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Rules
Jun 20, 2006 19:12:53 GMT -5
Post by ipuertoricanpony on Jun 20, 2006 19:12:53 GMT -5
you just have to give it time. that myspace group had less than 10 people for a while..now it's up to 109. just takes time.
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Rules
Jun 22, 2006 1:34:43 GMT -5
Post by athenathumblelina on Jun 22, 2006 1:34:43 GMT -5
Alright what do you think of this its a poem about a shitty area i used to live in a few years ago what can i do to change it for the better thanks guys
TITLE: Frankston Station
It is the portal
A thousand stories assault the senses
Mumbling and stuttering
Fighting for attention
Makeshift structures sway and give in to spiritual pressure
Dictate the warped pathway, towards stunted and petty vindication
Beige plasticine faces moulded by acres of wilderness
Restless shifting and ill-placed glances from far corner eyes
Hair-brained mothers and disheveled children
In the air, acetone, fossilized gum, boiling dim-sims and canned craziness.
Dirty laundry hanging in the sky, reflecting the unclean windows in the station
Flannel and shredded dreams
Close-minded worldliness
The ascorbic chlorific classroom of Karma
Hope and meaning is rationed evenly
Slapped and thrown on to the cold steel tracks
Snipets of a technicolour life
But wipe the sting from the nose
The glue from the veins
Fierce and taut
Continue the struggle
Baffle the still living
Sarcastic and arrogant walk
Don’t fuck with me
I may be tiny
But I will fight the world
And laugh throaty long and deep, whilst covered in blood and dying.
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Rules
Jun 24, 2006 3:05:46 GMT -5
Post by davidaccampo on Jun 24, 2006 3:05:46 GMT -5
Hi Athena --
Poetry doesn't usually get much play in these types of comics-centric boards, so I wanted to give you some feedback. Poetry's never been my strong suit, but I've done a lot of workshops with poets, so let's see...
First off, it's got a nice Ginsburg vibe to it -- at least that's how I read it. I still contend that most poetry benefits from hearing the poet read it aloud, but anyway...
To get more specific:
Portal...not so sure about...it's a bit weak to open with...
thousand stories assault the senses -- make me think of that quote about 8 million stories in the Naked City..." you know? Not sure you want that connotation. But hey, that could just be me, so take it with a grain of salt.
I'm not sure how makeshift structures give way to spiritual pressure...that doesn't really bring an image to my mind...two possibilities: groundt he structures in deeper detail -- what are they made of? Or give us something more concrete on the spiritual pressure -- what is this spiritual pressure? Think of a new way to describe it.
I like beige plasticine faces. I like "acetone, fossilized gum, boiling dim-sims and canned craziness" that's probably one of my favorite lines. I'm not sure I like the line about laundry reflecting unclean windows. Do you mean reflected IN unclean windows? But if the windows aren't clean, they should be reflecting anything. Dunno, that image is unclear for me. "Closed-minded worldliness" is a bit vague, though I love the line. I'd like to see if followed by a concrete example -- some detail that SHOWS us this aspect.
I'll admit, this next part is a little too abstract for me:
"The ascorbic chlorific classroom of Karma Hope and meaning is rationed evenly Slapped and thrown on to the cold steel tracks Snipets of a technicolour life But wipe the sting from the nose The glue from the veins Fierce and taut "
OK, Karma's a big concept -- I wouldn't throw it around lightly unless you can really demonstrate it. I didn't quite feel it here. HOpe and meaning rationed evenly -- I like the sentiment, but it doesn't give me a FEELING for this place. How are hope and meaning rationed evenly? Can you give me two images that demonstrate this? I'd say keep the line if you can follow it with a couple of images that demonstrate it. And if hope and meaning are rationed evenly and "slapped and thrown on to the cold steel tracks" -- we'll now I'm even more confused as to what's actually being slapped and thrown? Again, good imagery could ground these abstractions in reality and give us a better sense of what you're trying to convey.
Snippets of a technicolor life --- I read this as snippets of TV, perhaps through passing windows -- but this line is sorta thrown in and it makes it hard to really get a sense of the place.
However, the final bits are GREAT. I really like
"Don’t fuck with me I may be tiny But I will fight the world And laugh throaty long and deep, whilst covered in blood and dying."
It's sorta Ginsburg meets Whitman -- it sings with energy and it really brings life to the piece. The only complaint here is that the world "whilst" stands out to me among these last lines...I'd drop it:
"And laugh throaty long and deep, covered in blood and dying."
So overall, I think you've got something good here. You really need to bring the reader into this environment, though. I'd play with being more direct, using more concrete details -- you can get away with the abstractions like hope and Karma and such, but only if you've already grounded us in the hard reality of the setting.
You may just want to free-write all the details about this place, just spill it all onto the page, and then slowly carve away until you've boiled it down to the images and turns of phrase needed to convey the True sense of this place.
Hope that helps!
Dave
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Rules
Jun 27, 2006 15:43:20 GMT -5
Post by destriarch on Jun 27, 2006 15:43:20 GMT -5
You are responsible for protecting the rights to your material. Make sure you have your material copyrighted. For screenplays, get them registered with the WGA. Material is automatically copyrighted. The trick is being able to prove it, and being able to afford the inevitable court case that follows. If you can't do both, you're stuffed. In order to prove copyright, I'd recommend lodging a copy of your work with a solicitor or bank vault inside a sealed envelope stamped with the date. These individuals will keep careful record of when the item was lodged and when it was retrieved; provided that you do not attempt to take it out of the third party's care at any point, it is proof that the contents of that envelope were your copyright as of the day that the item was handed over. If the contents are ever required, then the record of the court case will serve as further proof from that point onward (at least in theory; check with an expert on this account). Don't bother with the old 'recorded delivery post it to yourself' trick, it's not accepted as proof any more. Ash
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Rules
Jun 28, 2006 0:27:40 GMT -5
Post by davidaccampo on Jun 28, 2006 0:27:40 GMT -5
Don't bother with the old 'recorded delivery post it to yourself' trick, it's not accepted as proof any more. Actually, you really needn't even bother. As you said, anything you write is automatically copyrighted. And proving it isn't actually that difficult. It really all depends. Sure, it might be hard to prove that your " It's 'Jurassic Park' meets 'Pretty Woman'" high concept pitch is yours, but that's not really the WORK of writing. A dozen people could come up with that. And the more detailed work that someone steals, the easier it is to prove authorship. The reason for copyrighting it legally is to allow you to sue for damages or get compensation. Without legal copyright, you can get someone to STOP publishing or using a work that is yours. However, to be able to get compensation for money made using your work (or money you could have made), you'd need to have the legal copyright.
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Rules
Jun 28, 2006 5:28:36 GMT -5
Post by destriarch on Jun 28, 2006 5:28:36 GMT -5
Without legal copyright, you can get someone to STOP publishing or using a work that is yours. No, you can't. Not unless you can prove you have prior copyright. You might not have to take legal action to have them stop publishing something that you can prove is yours. You can request that they stop publishing it, i.e. serve a 'cease and desist' order. The thing is they can just ignore you and carry on publishing it if they choose to. This is the point where legal action has to be taken. There's no use just assuming that because you're in the right the legal system will be on your side. The legal system is neutral (or meant to be) you have to PROVE you're right. Ash
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Rules
Jun 28, 2006 11:46:44 GMT -5
Post by davidaccampo on Jun 28, 2006 11:46:44 GMT -5
I wrote that late last night. Maybe I wasn't clear.
I meant: even without the legal copyright (registering it, etc.), you can still PROVE that you are the author and still force someone to 'cease and desist' publication or production. Proving authorship is actually not as difficult as some people make you think.
That's what I meant.
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Rules
Jul 1, 2006 5:18:51 GMT -5
Post by destriarch on Jul 1, 2006 5:18:51 GMT -5
I meant: even without the legal copyright (registering it, etc.), you can still PROVE that you are the author and still force someone to 'cease and desist' publication or production. Proving authorship is actually not as difficult as some people make you think. The bank vault / solicitor methods should both be legally admissable in court. However a word of warning: the old 'recorded delivery post' method where you post a copy of your material to yourself in a recorded delivery is NOT a surefire proof of copyright. One could easily post an empty envelope to ones' self just to get the official dates and stamps, then steam open the packet (or never seal it in the first place) and put the document in afterwards. Ash
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Rules
Jul 1, 2006 16:09:26 GMT -5
Post by davidaccampo on Jul 1, 2006 16:09:26 GMT -5
The bank vault / solicitor methods should both be legally admissable in court. However a word of warning: the old 'recorded delivery post' method where you post a copy of your material to yourself in a recorded delivery is NOT a surefire proof of copyright. One could easily post an empty envelope to ones' self just to get the official dates and stamps, then steam open the packet (or never seal it in the first place) and put the document in afterwards. Oh, I agree -- and honestly, at that point, it's just as easy to submit it to the copyright office. My only point was that even without "dated and stamped" proof, whether via bank or post office or whatever, you CAN still prove ownership in a court. Since copyright is now legal as soon as you've put something on paper -- the "dated and stamped" stuff is and obvious aid, but not the only way to prove it.
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